You are one of the lucky ones. You found a man or wife you love with all your heart, and you recently created a new life, together. That alone deserves a “bravo, honey”. With his help, you managed nothing short of miraculous: having a baby. And now, you are both enjoying the bliss of parenthood, relaxing in your home… No, wait, I meant chaos. The chaos of parenthood! Your hubby or wifey and you will be tired, worried and stressed out most of the time, but if you take a few steps to keep your marriage healthy, you’ll find that you can turn to each other for support and survive those difficult first few years just fine.
Be warned, keeping your marriage stable with a baby around takes time and energy, two resources that are not exactly abundant with a baby on the house. But it’s worth it. When your partner and you are on the same page, the stress of day to day life becomes easier to handle, and your relationship will continue ti be a source of joy instead of resentment.
Reconcile parenting styles
Even if you’ve talked about it before, chances are your parenting styles are not identical. Until the baby comes, it’s difficult to predict where each of you will stand when it comes to feeding, sleeping, play sessions and discipline. Here, the most important thing is communication. Talk to your pediatrician when it comes to things that concern the babie’s health, such as food. For the rest, talk about each method and keep an open mind. You are both new to this, it’s okay to be flexible and to try different things to see how they work. Just remember, your partner is doing what he thinks it’s best for the baby, just as you are.
Money Actually Does Matter, Let’s Not Kid Ourselves
We like to say that it isn’t, but money is extremely important when it comes to couples’ dynamics. And with a baby in the mix, this goes double. If you are used to living on two incomes and one of you takes time off to be with the baby, things can start to get complicated. Often, the parent that’s not working feels guilty for not bringing any money to the household, while the working parent might feel anxious or even resentful every time money is spent. As usual, communication is key. Talk openly about your goals and expectations, and share your fears with each other. A good idea before the baby arrives is to live off on one income. Open a savings account to deposit the income you won’t be using. This way, you can get used to a tighter budget, while saving a good amount of money in case of an emergency.
Plan for Couple Time
It’s easy to get consumed in day to day parenting, but you should always dedicate some time to your partner. Hire a baby sitter and go out on a date once in a while. Reconnect with each other, talk about the things you used to and, yes, flirt a little. Remember to pay attention to the couple behind the parents, and you’ll go back to the family life feeling happy and refreshed. The idea is to make an effort to go back to the magic you two had back when it wasn’t so chaotic, so raw, so “real”. It can be done, it’s all about will and love. The trick? Always feel like you’re giving 110%. That way you’re both giving it your all.